The Simpsons Springfield Tales Treehouse of Horror (Discontinued)
by Shoz999
Summary: Treehouse of Horror is back remade from The Simpsons Springfield Tales. Come and See as Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa, and Maggie face Cursed Cars, Raging Vikings, Aliens held captive by the Government and more
1. A Little Guide To Remade and Reloaded

**(SORRY IF YOU SAW SOMETHING ABOUT FUTURAMA, ACCIDENTLY PUT THE WRONG CHAPTER)**

**SHOZ999'S GUIDE TO SPRINGFIELD TALES THOH: REMADE AND RELOADED**

**DIFFERENCES FROM SPRINGFIELD TALES VERSION AND REMADE AND RELOADED VERSION AND IMPORTANT INFO.**

Remade and Reloaded has been edited to a point where a reader who has never read Simpsons Springfield Tales can Understand it.

There has been extra scenes implanted to the stories.

It will have couch gag, cementary gag, references, and deleted scenes that were originally supposed to be in segments to each story told.

The backbone story will be told through a Treehouse instead of the backbones stories present in Springfield Tales.

Jokes, NOT ALL, especially simple jokes, will be **highlighted.**


	2. Introduction

Bart, Lisa, and Maggie were all in the Treehouse as they were listening to Lisa's Story.

"And so... the caller hanged up with his last words, 'Good Luck'... only to find out that the victim, where only the victim sees the killer, met his final words on a note that says, 'It's Too Late...'." Lisa said.

"That's not scary." Bart said.

"We go through this every Halloween. I just want to visit this Horrorfield Park I've been hearing about. The scariest place on Earth."

"Yeah... well that doesn't open until 12:00. Were lucky that our parents decided to let us stay up that late you know. Might as well tell a story of my own." Bart chuckled.

"Oh brother..." Lisa sighed...

"I have a story where a cursed car decides to want the driver for herself. I call it, 'Roadkill'." Bart chuckled with an evil laugh...


	3. Roadkill

COUCH GAG: The Simpsons run to the couch as zombies, than there heads accidently drop to the floor with Maggie's Head still sucking onto a pacifier.

Cementary Gag: RIP Elivs, RIP Hemingway, RIP "I'M BILLY MAZE"

From: New THOH PART I

Spoof?: Yes, It's a Spoof of Stephen King's "Christine".

* * *

><p><span>ROADKILL<span>

It was a dark night and Homer was in his purple dented car along with Barney, Moe, Carl, and Lenny drunk from alcohol and waving bottles of beer from the windows. Homer, drunk he was, sang a song in a Flintstone theme style.

"It's Homer! Who's going to home... very early!" Homer sang. "He's going! Toooo! Crash into that **building**! AAHHH!" Homer and his Friends realized and screamed as they were in the very car heading to the building.

The car crashed into impact causing some damage to the old building but the car seemed to took most of the damage.

"Why does bad things have to happen to me every day? It's like I'm in some **American Animated Sitcom** or something. Oh well." Homer sighed.

* * *

><p>The next morning, Homer, Barney, and Moe went to the car garage sale to we what cars they got to replace Homer's destroyed Sedan. The garage had many different types of cars, but Homer only had two hundred bucks I his pockets and the lowest price of the cars here were a thousand dollars.<p>

"How am I going to get a car now? Look at these expensive prices. Mustangs, Cheetahs, Audi's, they even have the car from Knight Rider and it's only four hundred bucks." Homer complained.

"Doesn't that Nuclear Power Plant job of yours pay well enough?" Moe said.

"Only Child Support, The Mortgage, and most important of all, my **drinking problem**." Homer said. "I guess we should go. Nothing here to replace my destroyed Sedan."

"Really? I thought all that money could get you your own Duff Factory that you always wanted... BUUUURP!" Barney said.

"Barney. That's what you wanted. Homer wanted to invest in boxers where it would protect your crotch but comfortable at the same time instead of those huge cold metal boxers you see all the time on TV." Moe said.

* * *

><p>Homer, Barney, and Moe were walking on the sides of the fields of Springfield until Homer spotted a car that has not been seen for years, a Plymouth Fury beside an old man and his assistant standing at the country side. Homer ran to the car in a hurry, as Barney and Moe followed, noticing that despite its old, it's also pretty rare...<p>

"Ah. I see your interesting in the devil, I mean car." Mr. Burns noticed the man's interest in the old vehicle.

"Mr. Burns? What are you doing here?" Homer said.

"I was going to return this computer to Microsoft. It's pretty broken like all the other stuff that Microsoft has made.. eh... um..." Mr. Burns turned towards Smither's. "What's the guy's name again?"

"Homer Simpson, sir." Smither's answered

"Yes, Homer Simpson." Mr. Burns said. "Anyway, the car can be sold to you for just... twenty bucks. That's all."

"What's the catch?" Homer became suspicious, believing no way that this could happen... even for such an old car like that.

"There's no catch. Buy it and you get your own transportation."

"But, old cars like these are usually expensive today because there so rare. Plus, you're a guy who offers an expensive price for anything you wish to give."

"Do you want the car or not?"  
>"I'll take it!"<p>

"Excellent..." Mr. Burns grinned, but then he turned to Barney to his usual mean hard cold face as Homer looked through the car for expectations.

"Hello. You look like a best friend of Homer Simpson so I must warn you about this car's terrible secret."

Suddenly Barney fell down the ground cold after a few drinks of Duff.

"Huh... What about you? You look like Homer's second best friend?"

"Yes I am." Moe said.

"Good. I must warn you about that car. It has a very horrible secret that made me lowered the price at a point I never thought to see."

"What is it?" Moe whispered.

"That car has a mind of its own. You must be careful of that car as it is jealous and will try to kill anyone close to that fat man. Not only that, it can't be destroyed easily. If you're lucky, the fat man may have a wife. The car always attacks the wife first, but sometimes the friend, or children."

"Wait a minute. Why does it want to kill his family and friends?" Moe whispered.

"It wants to keep the driver all by herself... that and it's a girl."

"I see... wait a minute. Kind of think of it, almost everyone in Springfield is Homer's friend and sometimes enemy. Oh well..." Moe said, "Is there anything else bad about this car?"

"Actually yes. It has bad radio."

"That's bad."

"But has really comfortable seats."

"That's good."

"But it has an music sang by Justin Bieber under the seats."  
>"That's bad."<p>

"But it has a built in TV."  
>"That's good."<br>"No it isn't. On the TV it shows Comedy Central on and on forever. It's horrible I say!" Mr. Burns yelled.

Homer walked to Mr. Burns and said, "Can I have the keys now. I really want to take this for a spin."

"Uh.. sure." Mr. Burns handed Homer the keys.

Barney and Moe stepped into the back seats as Homer was in the driver's seat, starting the car and heading home as Mr. Burns watched.

"Smither's? **Who was that fat bald man and why is he taking the cursed car**?" Mr. Burns said as he completely forgot what happened.

"That's Homer Simpson, sir. He's the guy you just sold the car too." Smither's answered.

"Oh. I see. I'll miss that car. Has real comfy seats you know."

* * *

><p>Homer was at the garage preparing to surprise his family's new car, fixed, scrubbed, and ready to go. They weren't surprised though when they saw it, even though it was fixed and new.<p>

"What do you think? I fixed the old car." Homer said.

"You didn't fixed it. You just told **Ned** to do all the work and threatened him that he'll blow up his house. Which **you did** anyway!" Lisa complained

"Well... the car's done though. So Marge, do you want to take a ride to the Drive-In theater of a classic Rated R-Film?" Homer said smoothly, holding Marge's delicate hands.

"What movie is it?" Marge smiled.

"The tickets say it's Psycho." Homer answered.

"Ooh, a horror. I need someone to hold me if I get scared Homie." Marge giggled.

"Can we come?" Bart said.

"Sorry boy. This is a rated R film and we need some time alone. Plus, why not watch this DVD of Dawn of The Dead from my DVD storage area." He said.

"Homer! That film is NC-17!"

"NC-17 means Nerdy Children Under Seventeen can watch it **right?"** Homer asked.

* * *

><p>Homer and Marge were watching the movie Psycho together at an Drive-In theater. They watched the movie, eating popcorn, drinking sodas, chewed on some nachos, and they were kissing during the bloody action.<p>

"You know Marge this is... AHHHH!... and by the way you look very... AHHHHH!" Homer screamed several times looking at Marge and the film back and forth.

"What? I can't exactly... AHHHH!... and by the way, you sure know how to... AHHHH!..." Marge screamed, looking at Homer's Eyes but also at the film's horror.

"You know Marge. I think I ran out of snacks. I'm going to... AHHHH!" Homer screamed as he stepped out of the car. Homer went to the snack center as the whole audience screamed at each scene from the movie.

"I would like an... AHHHH!.. popcorn please. And make it fast." Homer said.

"Would you want some green goo with that?" Kang, an alien working at the Snack Bar, asked.

"Uh... sure... I also want the human brain bar, the cow intestines, and some of that radioactive frogs too."

* * *

><p>As Marge waited for Homer to come back, suddenly the radio turned on by itself.<p>

"What's the..? Well it is old, but has comfortable seats and..." Suddenly the windows were closed and Marge was suddenly felt like the oxygen was loosening. Marge was suffocating in the car and Homer spotted her with twelve hamburgers in his mouth.

"Wri've wrave wrou!" Homer spoke with a mouth full of food.

Homer ran to the car and broke the glass with a metal bar he found on the ground, but instead found Joe Quimby making out with a prostitute. He realized it was the wrong car.

"Doh!" Homer said to himself.

"Will you please go away?" Joe Quimby yelled.

Homer ran to the car and broke the window into pieces with the strength of his metal bar. Instead of finding Marge, he found Snake having a hard time trying to kill a women.

"Doh!" Homer said.

"Will you go away? I'm trying to kill someone right now." Snake said.

"Sorry." Homer apologized

"Help Me!" The women screamed.

"Sorry lady, but I have to save my own lady."

"Oh, okay then." The women calmed down even though she was in a life threatening situation.

Homer ran to the next car and saw Marge suffocating with no air. He broke the window with metal bar once more and Marge was finally breathing fresh air again.

"Thank Jebus, Homer's here, Marge. You're not alone anymore." Homer held Marge in his arms.

"I think this car is evil, Homer." Marge said.

"That's silly." Homer said.

"It tried to suffocate me and the radio turned on by itself."

"Marge, I know you were just trying to get attention but I'm here for you to learn all your problems."

"Hrmm..." Marge angrily sighed.

* * *

><p>Later at night, Homer's car was parked at the side of the sidewalk. He was sleeping with his wife in the master bed room, until he heard some noises. He woke up, got out of bed, put his huge tank top on, and checked through the window seeing four school bullies trying to destroy his car with baseball bats and wrenches.<p>

"WHAT THE! YOU DAMN KIDS!" Homer yelled at them.

The fat man quickly got outside as fast as he could and saw Jimbo, Dolph, Kearney, and Nelson wrecking the car he just fixed into scrap metal.

"What are you doing!" Homer yelled.

"What does it look like? Destroying Cars for parts." Jimbo said. "What are you going to do about?"

"This!" Homer said as he pulled out a mace.

"Let's get out of here!" Jimbo told the others.

The bullies flee, not wanting to get hurt, while Homer tend to the damaged car. He started to hug it as if it was important to him...

"I'll never let anyone destroy you again. I promise." Homer said.

Suddenly the car started to fix itself. The cracked windows healed back to clean reflections, the dents no longer became dents, and the holes in the tires started to patch up with no scratch at all. It had a mind of its own... for you see... it was evil...

* * *

><p>Kearney was walking on the streets alone with an ice cream cone in his hand until out of nowhere a flash of light emerged from the light. It was the car that had a mind.<p>

"What do you know? It's the fat bald man who can't even protect himself."

The car's engine started rapidly as if it had intentions. Kearney later realize it was going to hit him on purpose.

"Whoa man. You're not really going to hit me with that car... are you?" Kearney said before the car.

The car started to go faster and faster towards Kearney. Kearney was running for his life, and so he spotted an alley but the car followed him. He kept on running until he was now at a dead end, a brick wall actually, but the car couldn't fit.

"Hah!" Kearney said with a smile, seeing that there was no way the car could go through the small dead-end...

The car started driving anyway causing parts of the car on the side to rip, destroyed, and break apart. There was no escape at all.

"Wait! Wait! Can't we talk about this! Wait! No! NO! NOOOO!" Kearney screamed.

A flock of crows flew through the air, one being shot by Cletus.

"Hey Brandine! We have some fresh crow for dinner tonight!" Cletus yelled through the city.

* * *

><p>The car was driving on the roads of Springfield and spotted Nelson, Jimbo, and Dolph.<p>

"It's that car we just wrecked." Jimbo said.

"Wait a minute... didn't that thing looked like garbage?"

"And what's with all that blood on the front?" Nelson said.

Suddenly the car started going towards them faster and faster.

"What's he doing?" Dolph and the bullies just stood there.

As the car went faster, the bullies started running away without questioning it again. Dolph and Jimbo were already too late as they were road kill. Nelson dodged the car and instead of hitting him with full speed, it crashed through the donut shop, Lard Lad, walls right in front of the police. The police went outside to see what just happened.

"Oh my god." Chief Wiggum said as he saw the crash. "That driver crashed through the donut shop! Our favorite place to hang out, get some coffee, and dip our donuts in. Now look what that driver's done, Lou."

"Should we chase after him?" Eddie asked.

"Duh! This is **personal**! He'll pay for taking the life of this restaurant!" Chief Wiggum said as he, Lou, and Ed entered the police car together.

The car pulled itself out of the donut shop and spotted Nelson trying to catch his breath. Still, he had to run as the car was chasing him and the police car chased after the cursed car. The car finally done its job. It roadkilled Nelson, but stopped in the middle of a road of nowhere as the police just witness this crime..

"Uh Chief. The driver just killed a kid." Lou said.

"So? How is that anything **compared **to our favorite hang out place?"

"The car stopped, Chief!" Ed yelled.

The police car stopped right behind the red car. The policemen stepped out of the car and went to check what was going on. They knocked on the window of the car, hoping for a response but the windows slowly opened by itself with one response and one only. The police saw no driver.

"What the heck is going on Chief!" Lou asked.

"I do know one thing! This car is driving without a** license to kill**! It's going to the jail, and by that, I mean the impound."

"Not that. That!" Eddie pointed to the empty seat.

"I don't know what's going on, but those seats look comfortable!" Chief Wiggum said with a smile.

"I mean that there's no driver!"

"Oh yeah, that too, but look at those seats! I always wanted these."

Suddenly the car's front lights emitted a red light and faced towards the policemen by itself.

"No. This can't be!" Wiggum said. "That cursed car can't drive without a license! NO! AHHHHHHH!"

Everything blacked out...

"Is that the best you can do! My grandma can do a better job than this." Wiggum's voice was heard during the "Blacked Out" scene.

Suddenly the sound of a tire finally hit a fat man's body.

"Okay there we go! Now I'm dead." Wiggum said.

* * *

><p>Marge was in her kitchen reading the newspaper of that four bullies and three policemen were ran over by a red car. The policemen's last words were, <strong>"I wonder if I'll ever have some comfy seats like that."<strong> and then screamed and then repeated what he said, and screamed again.

"Homer! Look at this!" Marge yelled.

Homer came down and saw the newspaper.

"Oh my god!" Homer said.

"Yes I know!"

"They're having jeans that are my size for half price!"

"Not that Homer, I mean this." Marge said as he pointed at the article of seven deaths by a car.

"I think it's the same car that you just bought yesterday."

"That's silly. Marge."

"That car tried to suffocate me! Plus, it even says it's a red 1970 Plymouth Fury that ran them over with white tired wheels. Plus the wheel markings on the dead bodies are exactly the same on your car!" Marge yelled.

"**Kind of think of it, that car has been driving itself and told me how she murdered the three police officers and the bullies.**"

"You mean you notice that and you didn't even do anything about it!" Marge angrily spoke.

"I thought all cars could do that. Well, American Cars anyway."

"That car is from the 1970's. Errr... I'm going to Moe's" Marge said.

"Now that's strange. Usually I say that I want to go to Moe's... Well bye." Homer watched his wife walked out that door.

* * *

><p>Marge was drinking at Moe's and talking about that stupid car, yet she is not drunk somehow.<p>

"Uh.. um.. So you think that car's evil?" Moe said as his eyes moved back and forth.

"Why are your eyes like that Moe? Do you know something about this?" Marge asked.

"Umm... No... Okay! I do!" Moe yelled.

"Why haven't you told me about this!"

"Because, there was other people who also got almost kill by that car." Moe said. "The car is possessed by an evil spirit. It tries to take control of the driver and will try to kill whoever is close to him. Mr. Burns said it's usually the wife."

"Mr. Burns knows about this?"

"Yep. Old timer told me that the only thing that can stop the car is that some other new owner will have to drive it, but doesn't have a wife, friends, and everyone is safe then, well unless there enemies to that driver. That's a whole different story."

"What about Krusty, Sideshow Bob, Snake, or... Gil?"

"You mean Gil, the guy with no friends or family? He's perfect"

"Then let's go now and get rid of that evil." Marge said.

* * *

><p>Homer was cleaning his car in his garage happily, not paying attention to his children or friends. When he was finished with his work, he felt the urge to step into the car and took the wheel. Suddenly his mind was completely changed somehow. Usually the changes happen slowly, but for Homer Simpson that has such a small brain. Anything could happen. Homer drove the car out of the garage and to the streets of Springfield.<p>

"Here comes your end, Springfield!" Homer yelled with a grin.

* * *

><p>Moe and Marge were walking on the streets trying to figure out how to capture the car without getting ran over. As they were walking, a flash of light appeared. They turned around and saw Homer in the red car.<p>

"Hey! It's Homer!" Moe said.

The engine's sound suddenly bursted loudly from the car.

"I guess we should run." Marge said. She turned around and saw Moe already running for his life. "What a sissy... Oh yeah, the car!"

The car just kept on chasing the two until they got separated. Only thing is that it was chasing Marge first instead of Moe. The chase continued on and on until for a while, the car chased her to the junkyard. Later, she was at a dead-end because of a huge pile of trash in front of her way.

"Homer stop!" Marge said.

The car started to drive fast towards the woman in rage, until a huge magnet attached to a crane stopped the car.

"Take that, you bunch of scrap metal." Moe was in the crane.

Homer tried to start the car, but all there was is a car stuck to the magnet going nowhere.

"Homer! Get out of there!" Marge trying to talk some sense into the man.

"Never! Your trying to destroy my precious car!"

"Do you think it's more precious than me?"

"Duh! A car is even better!"

"What about beer?" Moe asked.

"**BEER!**" Homer yelled as he jumped off the car.

Homer landed and stood up from the ground while seeing a disappointed Marge.

"So you think a can of Beer is better than your family?" Marge said.

"That's when I was possessed by that evil car, Marge." Homer explained.

Moe stepped out of the crane and went to the married couple with a six pack of Duff.

"Let's celebrate for stopping the car, with a nice icy cold can of beer."

Suddenly Homer swiped the beer cans and drank as fast as he can with no influence of the car at all, much to Marge's disappointment in Homer.

* * *

><p>A little later, Homer and Marge visited Gil at the old box he was living in.<p>

"What's the catch?" Gil said as he was being offered a car for ten bucks, much lower than before.

"There's no catch. Free transportation, Gil." Marge said.

"Yep. And if you don't like it, you can just sell it for millions due to how rare it is." Homer said.

"Huh... okay. Here's ten bucks." Gil said.

"Thank you." Homer and Marge walked off.

Gil patted the classic car and said, "I think will be best friends. Say? You wanna eat some grilled cheese from a tissue paper I found from the garbage?"

The next second later, the cursed car ran away from Gil as she knew that she's better off without a driver while Gil said, "Oh come on! I spent my **medicine money** on you!"

* * *

><p>Back in the Treehouse...<p>

"That wasn't scary." Lisa said.

"Oh yeah, do you have a better story." Bart said.

"Of course I do. It's a story about a man who turns thin but later realizes that it's a curse. I call it... **The Thinnest Loser...**" Lisa said...

* * *

><p>(REFERENCES TO POPULAR CULTURE)<p>

1. Roadkill is a spoof of Christine.

2. Wiggum saying, "License to Kill", is a reference from the James Bond Films.

3. Psycho is shown at the movie theaters.

4. Mr. Burns mentioning that Microsoft makes broken software is a reference of Microsoft being criticized for there computers compared to other Software Companies.


	4. The Thinnest Loser

COUCH GAG: The Simpsons run to the couch as bats, they all turn into vampires as they sit in the couch with Homer squashing Bart's head as he turns into a vampire.

Cementary Gag: RIP Shakespeare, RIP Isacc Newton, RIP Disco Music

From: New THOH PART I

Spoof?: Thinner

* * *

><p><span>The Thinnest Loser (A spoof of Thinner)<span>

Homer drove his car with Marge at the front passenger seat on the roads of Springfield. It was dark in the town and was also filled with luminous light everywhere fueled by Nuclear Power.

"So Homer? What did you **thought **about that wonderful dinner we had tonight?" Marge said smoothly, looking at his husband.

"I don't know. Heh, heh." Homer said smoothly with a smile.

In his **thoughts** was a monkey fighting another monkey with knives on a pirate boat.

"I bet the monkey with the eye patch would win." Homer smiled to himself

"What?" Marge said as she wondered why he just said that.

"Uh... nothing Marge. Though that chicken at the restaurant sure was delicious."

"Is that all you think about? Food?" Marge angrily crossed her arms.

"I don't just think about food. There's you, the kids, beer, football, and... the kids... and donuts... and the.. uh.. what again?"

"You already said kids, but what do you think is better? Me or food?" Marge asked.

"Well..."

"Say food! Food! FOOD!" Homer's mind said.

"Say Marge, if you love her!" Homer's mind 2 said.

"I know what's better than that?" Homer's mind asked

"What?"

"Beer."

"Mmm... imaginary beer" Homer thought.

"Well you can't beat beer, mind #2"

"I guess so... Just lie to Marge then."

"Okay Mind#2" Homer **said out loud** as Marge looked at him again. "I think that your better than everyone, everything, and even me..."

"Good." Homer's Mind 2. "Now lie, that you love her."

"I love you Marge." Homer smiled.

"Okay, now... WATCH OUT!" Homer's Mind 1 yelled.

"Watch out for what?..." Homer looked.

Lights revealed an old lady in the way. Homer tried to stop the car, but it was too late, the car hit her on accident causing certain death. Homer and Marge quickly stepped out of the car and saw the old lady. Homer, worried, picks up a stick and poked her in the eye. She wasn't budging.

"Oh my god! She's dead!" Marge yelled.

"Don't worry Marge. All we just got to do is bury the body in the deepest lake then hide the evidence and no one will ever find out about it..." Homer said.

"Find out about what?" A gypsy Burns appeared.

"AHH!" Homer yelled out loud.

"Wait a minute. You killed my mother!"

"But... um... wait a minute... Your too old, and she's even older. She should be dead right **now**."

The gypsy Burns looked at him angrily.

"Oh yeah, she is dead." Homer said nervously.

"I am going to curse you with just one word and a touch of the finger. Thinner." He said as he touched the man on the forehead.

"Yeah right old timer. A curse. Who the heck believes in curses." Homer and his wife walked away.

"Gypsy Smither's?" Mr. Burns yelled.

Gypsy Smither's arrived to the scene of the crime as he heard his master.

"What is it sir?" Gypsy Smither's asked.

"**Who** was that man?"

"That's, um, Homer Simpson sir. You just cursed him a few minutes ago."

"Simpson, eh. That fat man will soon be thin as bone." Mr. Burns laughed with an evil grin. "Anyway Gypsy Smither's. Let's have a coke tonight to celebrate the death of my annoying mother who calls me every day."

"I thought you cursed Homer Simpson because you felt sorry for her." Smither's said.

"What? **No, no**. You got it all wrong. You see, my old chum, Homer stole the life of my mother, so I will steal the life of his. It's the code Smither's, don't you know this? Payback to get something in return."

* * *

><p>It was Saturday morning at the Simpsons house and Homer awoke from the bed. He went to the bathroom, brushed his teeth, took a shower, and put on some clothes for the day. He then quickly went to the weight scale. He really didn't know why he should. He mostly weighs the same or even gains a lot. Still, he stepped off the weight scale, but he noticed something. He stepped onto the scale and realized he suddenly lost fourteen pounds! That was not normal, but Homer was happy.<p>

"Hurray, but how did this happen? I never had any exercise?" Homer's mind said.

"Shut up. You lost some weight. Celebrate with some nice bacon." Homer's stomach said.

Homer ran down the stairs and to the kitchen as he saw his family.

"Guess what kids, wife, dog, cat, and beer!" Homer yelled with a smile.

"What is it Homer?" Bart asked.

"I lost fourteen pounds!"

"What? No way." Lisa said as she actually disagree with belief's rather than facts.

"No, really! I'll even show you!" Homer said as he brought the weight scale with him.

Homer stood on the weight scale and the family watched what his weight is. Usually he weighed at 239. On the scale it says 225.

"This is great Homer!" Marge said. "Maybe we should keep it up. I'll start making some boiled vegetables..."

A second later, Homer disappeared and the kitchen door moved back and forth. Marge, Lisa, and Bart looked back at the TV room seeing a lazy Homer on the couch eating a bag of king-sized potato chips.

"Uh... Homer. Maybe you should try to lose weight even further, instead of gaining weight." Marge suggested.

"What's the big deal Marge? It's okay. It's not like I'm going to **die** or anything." Homer said.

Homer accidently grabbed a canister of rat poison and held it to his mouth without even reading it. Homer said "Why do I always use the products... without even... reading them...?" and fell to the ground unconcious.

"I wonder how that rat poisoning got there?" Lisa asked herself.

Suddenly Bart's eyes moved back and forth nervously

* * *

><p>On the next day, Homer weighed himself again. Instead of gaining weight, he lost sixteen pounds, which is highly unusually! Now he is 209 pounds. Homer ran to the kitchen table and looked a little more slim, yet still had some fatty layer on him.<p>

"Hello guys! I just lost sixteen pounds!" Homer said.

"Sixteen pounds?" Marge said with a worried face. "Me and Lisa heard about this type of dangerous cancer that can make you lose weight but can also kill you at anytime and anywhere. I think you should see a doctor right away!"

"That's nonsense Marge. Well... I'm going to Moe's."

* * *

><p>Homer took his can of beer until Moe notice something different about him.<p>

"You look a little different Homer. Anything new?" Moe asked.

"Actually yes. Yesterday, I lost fourteen pounds. Today, it is sixteen pounds."

"That sounds bad Homer."

"What do you mean?"

"Well... there's usually three explanations for this. It's either cancer, a gypsy curse, or I'm probably just dreaming."

"Well you're not dreaming."

"Prove it." Moe grinned.

Homer **punched** Moe in the face so hard it caused a tooth to fall out of his mouth.

"Did you had to do that?" Moe got up, picked his tooth from the ground. "I'm guessing I'm not dreaming though. Anyway anything strange happened to you that involved a gypsy. I mean, there are actually many ways that people can have cancer these days with the ozone depletion and all."

"Well, gypsy Burns did touch me and said Thinner in a creepy voice."

"That's it!" Moe snapped.

"What?" Homer reacted.

"I finally finished making my new watermelon soda with organic flavors. Anyway, gypsy Burns said he was going to curse you?"

"Yes."

"Well... I heard that the only way to find a cure to your gypsy problem is that the gypsy who cause the problem can cure it. I heard that some guy named Barney got cursed by the same gypsy. He was so mad that he wasn't invited to the party at Lenny's house, because of that, he slashed everyone's tires."

"Uh... yeah... Barney slashed everyone's tires." Homer waved his eyes back and fort... as if he knew something about it.

"Anyway, he's staying at West Hills, an apartment, south of Springfield."

"That place? I've seen it many times and I know where it is."

"Good, but be careful. I heard this guy is crazy! He voted for **FOX News.**"

* * *

><p>Homer entered the house, heading to the living and looked a bit more thinner than usual. As he entered the living room, he saw Marge chatting with Ned.<p>

"What's going on here?" Homer spotted the two, suspicious even.

"I'm just chatting with Ned for some help." Marge said.

"There's nothing between you two... is there?"

"No Homer. Were just chatting about your mysterious weight losing problem." Ned answered.

"Well... okay..." Homer said as he picked up his car keys from the couch.

* * *

><p>In the darkest nights, Homer was standing right in front of Barney's door. He opened the door slowly hearing a voice.<p>

"Who are you?" Barney spoke from the shadows.

"Are you Barney? I need to ask you something. Are you really cursed by the gypsy?"

"Actually yes. Ever since that gypsy came, he made me drunken, fat, and ugly than anyone in Springfield."

"You look drunk, ugly, and fat in this **1984 picture** at the baseball game." Homer pointed to an old picture on the wall.

"Really? I guess he cursed me by giving me this huge rash." Barney stepped out of the shadows with a huge rash on his back, left arm, and half of his face.

"Eww..." Homer said.

"I know, it's disgusting." Barney said. "If you want to find gypsy Burns, I suggest you look at Springfield Green Fields. I heard he's having a party there. Not only that, he's actually 203 years old and his dog is 102."

"What?OH MY GOD! HE HAS A **DOG** AND I DIDN'T KNEW ABOUT IT!" Homer was surprised. "Anyway, I want to find that gypsy Burns."

"Good luck. By the way... Can you do me a favor." Barney said as he grabbed a gun.

"What is it?"

"I want him to know that I said 'Hi' to him."

"Oh thank god. I thought you wanted me to kill him with that gun."

"This thing? I just use it to open the laundry machine and balance the table." Barney said as he put the gun under the table causing it to be balanced. "Also, to hunt down who ever said that I was the one who slashed the tires."

"Uh yeah..." Homer waved his eyes back and forth.

* * *

><p>Homer stood at the Springfield Green Fields before a party filled with gypsies more thinner than ever. He walked towards the party, he spotted gypsy Burns greeting some more fashionable gypsies.<p>

"Hello Burns." Homer said in anger. "Oh and Barney told me to say 'Hi'."

"Yes? **Who **are you?" Gypsy Burns asked.

"I'm Homer Simpson. The one that got cursed by you. I want it to stop right now!"

"I don't know **who** you are, but no! I will never take that curse off you."

Homer angrily grabbed the man by the shirt. Suddenly, gypsy's pulled out pistols towards the once fat man.

"Fine." Homer said. "But listen to me, old man. I am going to curse you... You hear me!"

"You must've gone mad. Only a gypsy and poor experienced **surgeon's **can create curses." Gypsy Burns said, but Homer dropped him to the ground and left.

* * *

><p>Homer was at a hotel, with Dr. Hibbert. The bald man was almost thin as bone but this time he was dying on his wheeled chair.<p>

"This is not cancer. It's very unusual but a friend came here to see you." Dr. Hibbert chuckled a bit, leaving the hotel room for Homer's friend to come.

Moe came in and saw Homer who had a hard time breathing.

"Man, that curse on you must be really painful." Moe said. "By the way, I'm here to help you."

"Moe... I want you to do something for me..." Homer said.

"Sure, anything for you, pal."

"I want... you... to... kill those damn gypsies. Not gypsy... Burns, though. I want to... meet him at the park... Can you?... Also, If I die, I want you to kick Michael Bay in the nutz. **Those last two transformers movie sucked**!"

"Well... I said I do it. So, I'll do it." Moe grabbed his shotgun.

"Oh yeah... can you get me some of... those little hot dogs at the Kwik-E-Mart?"

"Sure."

* * *

><p>Moe was at Springfield Green Fields and carried a shotgun, pistol, and some grenades he stole from the army. Moe hid behind a tree as a gypsy went by. He pulled out his shotgun and aimed at one of the gypsies, pressing the trigger and suddenly the gypsy dead. Gypsies who went by or heard the noise got shot as well.<p>

"Who's shooting at us?" A gypsy said until he got shot through the chest as well.

The gypsy's pulled out there guns and Moe quickly at a fast pace threw a grenade. He then pulled out a pistol and shot Gypsy Smither's dead to the ground.

"Whoever is doing this! Stop it, right now!" Gypsy Burns said until an paper airplane hit him in the head.

Gypsy Burns noticed the mysterious man disappeared and then looked at the note. It said, "Meet him at the park."

* * *

><p>Homer and Moe was now at the park. Moe gently helped Homer sitting down at the white bench, waiting for Gypsy Burns arrival.<p>

"Okay, Homer. I'll comeback in two hours. " Moe said.

Moe left Homer on the bench for some time and after an hour, Gypsy Burns spotted the fat man in his sight and slowly walked to him. He sat down beside him hearing what he wants.

"Humph... I know the one who killed my men wasn't you. The man wouldn't be thin as bones like you as he was able to run and shoot without hesitation. You're lucky to be even alive right here and right now." Gypsy Burns said.

"Just remove the curse." Homer said weakly.

"Remove? It can't be removed unless that person dies with it. It can be transferred to another person though. This is why I brought this pie." Gypsy Burns showed the thin man the pie and a knife. "Since you want the curse off... I'll have to do this."

Mr. Burns stabbed Homer's right hand, blood dripping from his head and into the pie as Gypsy Burns grinned. He felt agonizing pain but he was able to go through with it. Gypsy Burns took out the knife and the blood simply vanished into the pie.

"There you have it. A cursed pie, but it must have a new host..."

"I know... someone..." Homer thought of Marge, who might have had a secret affair or divorce.

* * *

><p>Homer Simpson, fat again, stepped into his house with a grin on his face.<p>

"Oh Marge!" Homer yelled as he held a box, containing the pie in his hand.

"Homer? Is that you?" Marge, worried she was, came down the stairs. "Thank god, you're not hurt."

"Yes, but anyway, I brought a delicious pie." Homer handed her the box.

Marge opened the box and said, "Uh.. Homer.."

"What?"

"I don't see a pie in here."

"Strange, I wonder where... **DOH!**" Homer said as he realized he ate the pie.

Suddenly his large round stomach began to shrink again.

* * *

><p>"That story wasn't scary!" Homer came up in the Treehouse.<p>

"Dad. Were you there the whole time?" Lisa asked.

"Yeah, but I have a better story than that." Homer said.

"Oh yeah, what could you tell that's so spookifying?" Bart asked.

"Oh... heh, heh. I've got one up my sleeve. One about a man meeting a clone with some differences." Homer grinned.

* * *

><p>(REFERENCES TO POPULAR CULTURE)<p>

This story is based on Stephen King's "THINNER"

"The Thinnest Loser" is a parody of the tv show, "The Biggest Loser"

Homer mentioning Michael Bay and his last two Transformer Films that received negative reviews is a reference to his way of directing which is usually explosions, jets, and girls in tank tops.

FOX News is mentioned in a joke, which is a recurring joke in The Simpsons

The RIP Disco Music in the RIP Gag Joke is a reference to how Disco's Popularity ended a little early than expected.


	5. Simpson Guy

Couch Gag: The Simpsons run to the couch as Rigellians (Kang and Kodos for an example), The Rigellian Homer spots Snowball and Santa's Little Helper, grabs them, and swallows them whole, burping out there collar.

Cementary Gag: RIP Heath Ledger, RIP Colonel Sanders, RIP Prohibition YAY!

Spoof?:Nope, though involves with another cartoon, Family Guy, the humor is also turned up a bit.

From: New Treehouse of Horror I

* * *

><p><span>Simpson Guy<span>

Prof. Frink, both a scientist, inventor, and math teacher, a genius more like it has created his newest invention within his own basement. In front of him was a strange technology that had two small round rooms, two doors and connected together by cables attached to the top. There was even a little antenna that was meant for decoration than detecting sound waves.

"I've finally finished my greatest invention after the other inventions that I said great. The clonathon! 'GLAVIN!'. A machine capable of cloning living things, but also objects faster than any cloning machine that ever existed before in human history." Prof. Frank laughed. "Now to **fry** a steak using its own circuits."

"Not so fast." Mr. Burns entered the basement. "I'll be taking that machine. My lawyers already find out a way where I can take that machine without having a lawsuit. First, I will clone a human to the perfect employee compare to those... yokels googling at girls and drooling at ads."

"What? You can't clone a human! That's illegal today due to religion, jobs, and the population. Plus, cloning a human may turn out some kind of freakish monster of some sort or become the opposite of its behavior. You don't know what could happen!"

"Sorry, but I also manage to took out that law for three days and I don't care if it will turn into an abomination as long as it's the perfect employee. Now bye."

* * *

><p>"Now which one shall we start with?" Mr. Burns looked at thousands of screens showing people working in his own Nuclear Power Plant, but most of them slacked off. "Let's test it on someone stupid and see if we can create a smart human being out of it. Who's that fellow?"<p>

Mr. Burns looked at the screen of Homer asleep in his chair. Suddenly the "DANGER!" Sign was glowing and an alarm ranged through his workplace. Homer woke up and got a **bucket of manure** from the ground, pouring it all on the machine causing a malfunction in front of Mr. Burns's eyes

"That's Homer Simpsons, sir and we just lost another 1 million dollars." Smither's said.

"We lost 1 million dollars! That's the **idiot **I need! Homer Simpson, eh. Bring him to me."

Smither's went to the intercom and called Homer Simpson.

"Homer Simpson." Smither's said as Homer waked up. "Mr. Burns would like to see you. That is all."

* * *

><p>Homer Simpson ran into Mr. Burns Office and saw Mr. Burns and Smither's, feeling the fear that he might be fired, unable to support his family and his beer tab. He then spotted the Clonathon next to the two, wondering what it is.<p>

"Hello...um... Homer Simpson, yes that's right. Homer Simpson." Mr. Burns said. "I would like you to help me in a certain particular project."

"Sure uh... What is it?" Homer worried.

"I want you to be the subject of my cloning machine. I need the excellent worker on my side. This is only for a test."

"I thought cloning humans were illegal."

"Yes, but I have three days that the law is removed. After that, the law is back in place. Than I would have to come back at cloning a rabbit and deer into a Jackelope again. You don't how many people will buy these when I call them, **rare**. In fact, I'm pretty much the one who **started **the Jackelope Myth, heh heh. Anyway, step into the machine."

"Well... okay." Homer entered the clonathon.

"Anyway Homer, I must warn you that... **where on Earth **did he got that donut?" Mr. Burns angrily looked at Homer eating a donut in the clonathon. "Oh well."

Never the less, Mr. Burns pressed a switch on a remote controlling the Clonathon. Electricity suddenly emerged from the machine, the ground was shaking, and even Smither's himself was afraid what would step out of the Clonathon as it finally stopped with mist spread inside the room. Homer stepped out of the machine.

"Are you in pain?" Smither's asked, even he was worried.

"Not really." Homer said as his pants was on **fire.**

Another man stepped out of the machine. He looked a bit like Homer. The only difference was that his pants were green, had brown hair, his skin wasn't yellow, had a strange chin, and his neck was really big and flabby. In fact, he was more fatter than Homer Simpson.

"This doesn't look like a great worker and Prof. Frink was right. There are some problems with the clonathon." Smither's said.

"Nonsense. You shouldn't judge by their looks. We should test him." Mr. Burns said until they turned around seeing the clone hit himself by walking into a desk. "I think he's blind. He needs glasses."

Mr. Burns swiped Smither's glasses in a second and placed it towards his eyes, leaving Smither's Blind.

"There we go. What shall we call him?" He asked

"What about Peter? It's a nice name." Homer suggested.

"Not bad. I like it, but he also needs a last name."

"What about Griffin?"

"That's great. Peter Griffin. How did you thought of Griffin, though?"

"I don't know." Homer said next to a Griffin.

"Well, anyway... this clone will be called Peter Griffin. A new man is born."

"Peter Griffin?" Peter said. "I wanted to be called 'The Rock', or 'Rambo'."

"What? Me too!" Homer said. "I'll think will be good friends."

"Huh. I'm already talking this fast. I wonder if I can **eat and crap** at the **same time** at the bathroom." Peter said.

* * *

><p>Mr. Burns was in his office reading Peter's results of the IQ test. Smither's, Homer, and Peter were standing right in front of a disappointed... actually angry Burns.<p>

"Looks like I was wrong. You are horrible, in fact, according to this... your more retarded than Homer Simpson but I don't think I should just give up. This is just an IQ test." Mr. Burns said with an angry look on his face. "I will give you a job today in this Power Plant. You'll be Homer's assistant. Homer is your instructor. Don't fail me, or you'll be living on the streets like a dog with rabies."

"Okay... sir..." Peter gulped in fear.

"Now get going or I'll release the temporary hounds! My real hounds are at the **shop**." Mr. Burns said.

* * *

><p>"Hey Homer? Who's the new guy?" Carl entered Homer's office along with Lenny.<p>

"Yeah, he kind of almost looks like you except more obese, has a huge chin, and has small glasses. Love the hair though." Lenny smiled with a thumbs up.

"Thank you. I love your haircut" Peter said.

"Yep. Well, we got to go." Carl said.

"Okay buddy." Homer said towards Peter. "This is my **office... Ahh...ffice... Office**...You got that? It's called an office."

"I can understand you know." Peter said insulted.

"Oh. In that case then... my training is done."

"But?..."

"No buts. It's sleeping time for me." Homer began to slept but already the "DANGER!" sign was glowing.

"Well. I guess it's my time to shine. I wonder what does this button do?" Peter pressed the button.

Suddenly the whole town was blown up in many pieces and to rubble... in Peter's **imagination **it is...

"Maybe I shouldn't press this button." Peter said. "I'll just press... this one."

* * *

><p>Three hours later, outside of the Nuclear Power Plant.<p>

The Nuclear Power Plant was on fire. It was more bigger than last time when Homer caused it a few years ago.

"You there!" Mr. Burns said in anger. Peter came as he was worried that he might already be a loser with no smarts, talents, or anything.

"What happened here!"

"It's my first day." Peter answered

"Yeah right. That's what you said **last time, Homer Simpson**."

"**My name** is Peter Griffin. Don't you remember?"

"Trying to trick me again, **eh, Homer**."

"Uh Monty Burns." Smither's came. "That really is Peter Griffin and this is also his first day."

"I see. Well um... Smither's... **what's his name again**?"

"Peter Griffin sir. The new guy and I just told you his name."

"Peter Griffin, eh. Don't mess up again or it's back to the clonathon with you!" Mr. Burns spoke angrily. He then turned towards Homer Simpson for a warning. "As for you Homer Simpson, you better not mess up either."

Mr. Burns and Smither's walked away as the two watched, glad that it was over.

"Now that's strange." Homer said. "**Usually** he forgets my name. Now he remembers my name and **forgets** your name, Peter."

"I know. It's like I'm getting the attention now." Peter said.

"Oh well. Work is over now. Time to go home to see my caring family... why a family?..." Homer said in disappointment. "Yep go to... um... well, a place where you have a family, a home, a couple of friends."

"A family and friends... Jeeze... I'm kind of... jealous a little." Peter spoke.

"Actually, in my childhood I had four friends. They were Moe and Barney. Yep, good time, good times. Oh good old four friends camping near the fire..."

Homer than started to notice Peter Griffin about to walk alone into the streets of Springfield with no cash for a place to stay, no friends, no family, no nothing but a job that he doesn't even get paid for.

"Wait! Peter!" Homer yelled.

"Yes?"

"**Would you like to take out my enemies**!"

"**NO!** The other thing!" Homer's Mind said.

"Oh, I mean would you want a place to stay tonight?"

"Yeah, I would like to!" Peter said.

"I know exactly where you can **sleep**." Homer smiled.

* * *

><p>"<strong>Ned<strong>! Peter needs a place to stay tonight." Homer yelled at him as he was mowing his garden.

"Sure, diddly doo, neighborino." Ned smiled.

"Does he always do this?" Peter whispered to Homer.

"At least you have a place to stay."

"I rather shoot myself rather than hearing this old timer."

"Yep. I would too. Anyway, Flanders, he's going to only sleep at your house at night. Till then, he's going to meet my family, and friends."

"Okay, Homer, I and your friend here Peter can sing Christian Folk Songs, Read bible stories to the kids, put in the new blocked channels I've asked for."

"**Oh please** someone knock me with a bat." Peter Griffin said.

Still, Flanders's still continued saying, "And we can put in the Christmas Decorations early, have an one hour pray, it will be fun."

Peter sighed in disappointment...

* * *

><p>Homer Simpson and Peter Griffin entered the house of Homer. As Peter entered it, he saw a baby in blue clothes on the ground.<p>

"Aww, it's so cute." Peter said with a smile. "What's her name."

"Her name is... um... was it Lisa..." Homer thought. "Probably Bart... no wait... that's a boy's name... I think it was... Maggie or something like that. By the way, did you know she saved my life from some EPA guy after a dome broke.

"No way. He took out an government official! It's **The American Dream!**"

"Plus, Maggie has also been acting strange lately. I think she may have been carrying guns..."

Suddenly Maggie's eyes were shaking back and forth in a suspicious manner as she slowly pushed a pistol under the rug...

* * *

><p>Homer and his friend walked into the next room on the first floor. This time they saw an eight-year old girl sitting on the couch and reading a book called "The Mist".<p>

"This is Lisa. She's eight and her IQ is 159."

"Dad. That's my last year's IQ. It's probably a bit higher than last time." Lisa said.

"Dang. A kid with that kind of a IQ. Plus, I thought nerds were ugly. She might actually grow into a beauty some day." Peter said.

"Are you a **child molester**? Then, I would have to throw you in the **river**." Homer said angrily as he raised his fist.

"No I am not." Peter said.

"Oh... good."

Homer sighed in relief that he did not had to punch his new friend but suddenly Peter's eyes were **moving back and forth suspiciously**.

* * *

><p>Homer and Peter walked into the kitchen and saw Marge preparing supper.<p>

"Wow. Is that your wife!" Peter said. "That is one heck of a wife. Plus, that is one big a..."

"Hey, pork chops." Homer interrupted, not wanting him to finish that sentence.

"Never mind." Peter said as he thought this might upset both the wife and husband. "You know. Lot's a people like blue and tall things. You sure picked the right hair style... um... what's your name?"

"Marge." Marge said happily due to the comment about her hair.

"Did you know she looks a bit more skinnier if you put a tight shirt around her. She sometimes looks a bit more ..." Homer said

"Turkeys done."

"Hey Marge." Peter took a camera and a flash light was heard.

Peter took the picture out seeing Marge holding a dish of pork chops, "_**Grrrrrlll**_**.**.. Those **pork chops** look good."

"Uh...thank you?" Marge said.

"What does your hair look like when it's down?"

"I don't really kno..."

Suddenly a bunch of water was thrown from a bucket to Marge's hair by Peter himself. He then took some pictures, looking at it for a while.

"Wow! I can't tell what's better!" Peter said. "The hair that's facing up or the hair that's facing down! They are both beautiful! Maybe it's because it's blue, though that's a bit strange..."

"What do you mean?" Marge asked.

"Blue... is kind of... not one of those natural hair colors. Did you died it or something."

"Well." Homer said. "I have heard rumors that her hair is actually blonde because of our children's hair color, and then there's gray because of her sisters, and I even heard that it's brunette. Some people say that blue is her natural color because of his dad, mother, and some of her other ancestors. That will just be a mystery though."

"Yeah, let's just leave that alone, but that is still a heck of a wife. She is totally skinny. I've never seen such a skinny wife with blue hair and a nice as..." Peter said during the flashes of light emerging from the camera every second.

"Why are still taking pictures?" Homer interrupted.

"Just comparing them." Peter answered. "And then **edit** them a little." Peter thought.

* * *

><p>Homer and Peter was now entered Bart's room.<p>

"Hey Bart! Meet my new friend." Homer said as he and Peter enter his room.

"I'm Bart Simpson, who the hell are you?" Bart said.

"That is freaking cool." Peter smiled at the kid.

"You mean you're not mad, of what I said?"

"Yeah, are you one of those cool kids at school?"

"Yep. Don't steal any of my phrases or I'll egg your house in ways you never imagined." Bart was next to an old ostrich egg under his bed.

"I wish I had a son like that." Peter said as he looked at the ground. "I don't even have a family. I mean, Maggie is so adorable, Lisa had an IQ of 159, Bart is cool and a bad boy, and your wife is so freaking hot that I just want to put her in porno videos."

"Well... Wait a second **what?**" Homer said.

"I said you wife is so freaking hot that I just want to put her in the next fashion magazine." Peter said.

"Uh-huh... you want to meet my friends?" He asked.

"Sure, buddy."

"By the way, I need to do something first." Homer spoke gently.

"Sure, anything."

"Okay!" Homer angrily **strangled** Peter's neck as he still remembered what he said about his wife. Homer is a master at strangling people, not even Peter's huge flabby neck can stop his furious hands. "That's for talking about my wife like that, you sexual pervert thinking bastard! DO IT AGAIN AND I'LL KILL YOU!"

Homer finally let him go as Peter needed some air.

"...so...rry..." Peter had a hard time talking.

"I hope you learned your lesson not to mess with people's wives."

"Yep. I'll never mess with your blue haired hottie again, that everyone might want to have..."

Suddenly Homer was strangling him in anger again, choking him much longer than before.

"**Not everyone wants to have** whatever you just said." Homer said.

"You... mean... **sex?**" Peter answered

Suddenly Homer strangled him even further, stronger, and tighter.

"Now no one does not want to make love with my wife!" Homer said.

"Who wants to... make love... with Homer's... wife!" Peter yelled so loud to the world as he was being strangled by Homer Simpson.

Homer looked out the window and suddenly, all the men, husbands, and even lesbians were raising their hands who heard Peter's voice. Homer let go of Peter's neck and went into an uncontrollable fury unleashed upon them. He **grabbed his rifle and said, "I'LL KILL YOU ALL!".** The man jumped out of the window and he began hunting the people who answered Peter's question.

"Oh my god." Peter looked through the window. "Is he really going to kill them?"

"Yep. This time he will." Bart said as he looked through the window. "Something like that won't calm him down until November.. By the way, **what's making love?"**

**"Well kid. Making love is..."**

**Three seconds later...**

**"AHHH!"** Bart screamed out loud to the whole world.

* * *

><p>Homer, still upset about what happened, and Peter were walking into Moe's Bar.<p>

"Hello everybody!" Homer tried to **maintain** a smile as he twitched his eye a bit.

"Hi Homer... BURP!" Barney said.

"So this is the gang. Nice. Like your little hangout place you have here." Peter said.

"Hey Homer. You look a little strange." Moe said as he noticed that both of his eyes are now twitching and his fingers looked crooked. "Uh, you... the new guy that befriended Homer who I heard all about today. **Do you know what happened**?"

Peter went to the bartender and whispered it into his ear, telling what happened.

"Uh huh... yeah... I see... YOU WHAT!" Moe yelled out loud. "You can't do that. Jesus, this must be the third time it happened."

"What do you mean third time?" Peter asked.

"Some other nut said something like that too. Homer almost killed him because of it."

"By the way... Is it really true that men would like to have..." Peter said until he whispered the rest into his ear.

"Of course that every man would like to date Marge." Moe said it out **loud** without thinking. "We even had **polls** everywhere and it was one-hundred percent."

"Yeah, what a woman. Say Homer, **if you die** before Marge can I take your place?" Lenny said.

"And Lenny, **if you die** before Marge can I take your place?" Carl said.

Suddenly Homer went berserk as he heard there words. He broke a glass bottle and turned it into a glass-edged weapon. He ran to Moe furiously until Moe shot Homer's mouth with a **water gun filled with beer**. Suddenly, Homer calmed down, dropping the razor-edged broken bottle.

"That was a close one." Carl said.

"Well... I guess I shouldn't ever say that again." Peter said.

"Yep." Lenny said. "Some of us actually do want say it, so we use these sound proof cups to cover what we just said. There expensive in Springfield though, because it's **sponsored** by Mr. Burns."

* * *

><p>It was nighttime and Peter was on his guest bed thinking about himself being alone. He wanted his own family that would make him feel that he's not a freak because of how fat, stupid, and that his skin color is pink.<p>

"Hey! That's racist!" Peter said in an angry voice to the narrator."

"Sorry. How else am I supposed to explain the difference?" The narrator asked. "I mean, I do have to explain how you look like and all when you're in the Simpsons Universe. I can't just say your American."

"You got a good point there."

"By the way... how the heck can you talk to me. I thought only Homer Simpson can and plus... this is just a story told by an fat man."

"Whatever. Can we just go back to the story?" Peter asked.

"Sure."

Peter suddenly thought of an idea to get a family of his own. He just needed some DNA from some family members of The Simpsons.

* * *

><p>Peter Griffin slowly walked into The Simpsons house capturing fingerprints, hair, and saliva, whatever he can find that's considered DNA. After for a while, he got out of the house and headed towards Prof. Frink's house. As he made it there, he knocked on the door.<p>

"Who is it at this time of the night, with the knocking, and the wood, with the door knob, 'GLAVIN!'." Prof. Frink opened the door to see Peter Griffin. "It's you! The human clone."

He wondered why on Earth the fail clone would come here for his help.

"Look pal! I want you to create a family for me! I heard you made a second clonathon!" Peter said.

"Well... the law about banning human cloning is coming up in two more days. Sure! Why not? This Clonathon is now have a 51% chance of clones not being retarded, just with a few differences of course."

* * *

><p>The next day.<p>

"Hey Simpsons!" Peter said as The Simpsons waited in the TV room

"What's the surprised?" Bart asked.

"You can come in now!" Peter yelled.

The Simpsons entered the living room and saw two more guys and two more women in the house.

"It's the Griffin's with an 'S' at the end this time. I have a family, guys! It also includes a dog!" Peter said happily. "Meet my wife, Lois! She's the clone from Marge."

"Interesting." Homer said. "Your wife **may not be that skinny... kind of has a huge head... and may be a little fat**..."

"Hey!" Lois said.

"Uh Homer." Bart said. "There all have huge heads, and are a little bit fat... actually Peter's two son's are pretty fat. Especially the one with glasses."

"I'm not a **boy!**" Meg said.

"Anyway." Homer said. "At least your wife has red hair and a name from Super Man's Lois."

"Yep." Peter said. "She may not have blue, but red is just fine... despite that Blue is considered a better color over Red."

"But there is probably one huge issue I have with your wife." Homer said.

"What is it?"

"What the hell is wit her **huge nose**."

"What?" Lois said angrily. "I do not have a huge... Well actually it is a bit huge."

"Actually... you have to admit, that nose is pretty huge, but I'm okay with it... WHO AM I KIDDING! Your nose is big as Barbara Streisand!" Peter yelled in horror. "YOUR A MONSTER! Besides, that everything is okay."

"Now let's see your children." Homer said. "Your kids are named Chris, Meg, and Stewie. Am I right?"

"Yes?"

"Chris seems to be fat as me, a sissy, and nowhere near cool as Bart. Kind of think of it, a bunch of nerds can throw him in the trashcan. The ugly nerds."

"Now Meg is based off of Lisa... am I right?"

"Well, actually **she's based off the Crazy Cat lady**. Lisa was having a sleepover so I had to choose someone else's DNA." Peter answered.

"Well that explains how ugly she is and the big nose. God! Your daughter and wife has big noses!"

"Okay! We get it! Big noses aren't attractive." Peter sighed in disappointment.

"Now Stewie is evil right?" Bart said.

"How would I know?" Peter asked.

"Anyway, Stewie seems to be the opposite of Maggie almost every way... where is Stewie anyway?"

"Uh... dad? Have you seen Maggie?" Lisa asked.

"Well. Actually no." Homer said.

* * *

><p>Stewie was interrogating Maggie at the basement. Maggie was tied to a chair by rope, and Stewie was torturing her by breaking her favorite toys... or tools. Stewie started destroying the hammer, then the screwdriver, then the power saw.<p>

"Tell me, where's this Mr. Burns I have been hearing all about. This guy seems so interesting, that I want to meet him. NOW WHERE IS HE!" Stewie argued.

Suddenly Maggie finally cut the rope around her with a nail loose on the back of the chair. After that she leaped from the chair and landed on Stewie. Then she leaped for a screw driver, activated it, and held it towards Stewie's face. He tries to move but Maggie's strength was stronger than him apparently.

"Wait! Stop! I'll do anything." Stewie said in fear.

Maggie lowered her weapon until Stewie picked up a pistol from the ground. "Hah! You could've almost killed me there, but it's my turn!"

Maggie finally realized there was only one thing to do. She pulled out the **pacifier** and pushed it in Stewie mouth.

"What the heck is this going to do. Now I'm going to shoot you... Hey. **This is addicting**. I like this" Stewie enjoyed the pacifier so much that he dropped the gun.

Maggie picked up the gun and faced it towards Stewie.

"OH DAMMIT!" Stewie said.

3 min. later...

Stewie was tied to a chair and was forced to watch the movie "**Speed Racer**".

"OH GOD! MAGGIE! JUST SHOOT ME! I DON'T CARE ANYMORE." Stewie yelled.

"Hey there you are." Lois opened the basement.

"Oh no!" Stewie said. "**Send me back to Speed Racer**. ANYTHING BUT THIS!"

"Guess what Stewie. A bunch of men from FOX just showed up at our door and wants us to be in our own TV show. You're going to be a little TV star.

"Excellent." Stewie said in a **Monty Burns style**. "Still I really wanted to meet this Monty Burns guy."

"Whatever Stewie." Peter said in the living room with The Simpsons. "I wonder what that film, Speed Racer is like?"

Suddenly a **flashback **appeared out of **nowhere** showing Peter throwing food at the TV and arguing with the movie all day calling it names such as "Crap, Worst Movie ever, Burn movie, and Oh come on!"

"What just happened?" Bart asked.

"It's a **flashback**, Bart." Homer said as both the Simpsons and Griffins looked scared but Homer and Peter. "What's wrong with you? I get flashbacks all the time."

"Yep. Technically for some reason, I get a flashback **every second**." Peter said.

"Whatever."

* * *

><p>Back In The Treehouse...<p>

"Oh come on Homer. That was not scary one bit." Bart complained.

"It was scary to those hobos outside..." Homer said.

"Yeah well, we still got a lot time before the Horrorfield Amusement Park. How about a story of the 13th Victim, on the 13th Hour, on the 13th Friday, of the 13th Month..." Bart chuckled evil mannered.

"Oh please." Lisa sighed.

* * *

><p><span>Cultural References<span>

Family Guy Humor is appearing

FOX is mentioned again.


End file.
